IT'S OVER.. BECAUSE I'M OVER YOU.

Yesterday, at around 11PM, when I got back to Joy's house, I received a shocking news regarding her. And that news was further confirmed by Denna and Juares, today at approximately 1AM. I was utterly devastated. I started to hate her. Felt like a million stabs pierced my heart. But Denna and Juares stayed throughout the gloomy night with me. I'm so glad I have my friends to hold on to. If they were not around... God knows how horrible my life would be.


It took me the whole night, thinking about my life, how my purpose on earth ended within a single breath. How I found myself, sitting on the couch, lifeless... Clueless... Thoughtless. I can feel the whole world crashing down on me. All sort of negative thoughts filled my head, poisoned my lungs, rotted my body, rendered me immobilized and unable to function. Each stab on my heart cripples my pace of breath. Each teardrop that fell down my cheek, carried a piece of my broken heart. Each memory in every strand of hair pulled off my head gently float down to the floor, and blown away.


But the bitterest moment that killed me at that very moment, is when the most poisonous, despicable venom, coursing through my blood veins and into my heart... Tearing each cell, each tissue, every last bit of fainting memories about us, it burned through all of it. Blackened, deleted, obliterated... And it finally struck the very core of my heart, my love and my soul. The place where I store her heart, it sinked into hers... And finally turn it into ashes, only to be blown away by the cold, never ending wind.


And that was when I realized..


That she's gone.


I fell down into the deepest pit of darkness. I was there all alone. I can't even see myself anymore.


Then something slithered around my arm. Felt like a piece of rope. Despite my condition, lifeless and out of energy, I lift my right hand, formed a fist and gave my heart the hardest bang that I could to revive myself. Whats left in me, is something called will power. With my left hand, I grab hold of the rope. I pulled myself back up, out of the pit of despair. Halfway up, I saw a ray of light. As I gazed upon it, I lose my grip and slowly wither away.


But as I let loose of what I'm holding on to, Denna and Juares grabbed my hand, and pulled me out, into the light.


I was thoughtless as if I'm a living corpse, utterly devastated. But these two people nurtured me with positive thoughts, cared for me and bring me back to life. Juares patted my back and said "You deserve someone much better than her, bro!" while Denna gently whispered to my ear "Everything's gonna be alright, I'm always there for you my dear".


Now, slowly recovering myself, I get better and better. I went through an insomniatic sleepless night. And I made it through.


As I look forward into my path of life, I told myself that I have to move on. Although, I'm carrying a big and deep wound inside of me, only God knows when I'll recover, but I will be. And I'll be stronger than ever. For I would never give up on life, because life is not meant for me to end it. And I pray to Allah, I thanked Him, for whatever He planned for me, for my future. He generously sent me two angels to be there with me. Although temporary, I'm sure I'll find my very own soon.


There is a girl in front of me. I can only see a faint mirage of her, very far away from where I am standing now. She's standing there waiting for me. I wonder who could that be?


As of now, 08:27AM, Friday, 6th of November 2009, I closed the door behind me, and sworn to NEVER look back. I'm done crying and sacrificing myself for her. I have moved on. Goodbye Ariani Irda Bakri. And for the first and the last time...


I AM OVER YOU.


-FARIDFAIZA-